Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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