five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
