so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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