Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
