Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
