I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
