Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
