She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
