great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
