he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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