I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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