My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Randomize
