So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Randomize
