I can't breathe out the right side of my face
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
