I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
