I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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