fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
