4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
