i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
