Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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