all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
