I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
