school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
