okay pat passed out under dana's car
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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