3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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