i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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