I hate all girls vehemently.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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