summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
