I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
