Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
