we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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