no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
