Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
