I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
