Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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