i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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