ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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