You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
The air was thick with penises
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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