i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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