You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
