I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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