Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
