so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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