Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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