You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
