I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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