Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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