You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
