Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
