WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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