Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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