i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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