Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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