Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
