kristin has been a bad kristin
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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