I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
