I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Randomize
