last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
