I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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