Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
