Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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