i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
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