I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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