I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
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When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
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I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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