I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
