I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
My friends, they love my intelligence
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
